G'day Fellas.
Stolen from the HD forum but a few of us may relate.
Cheers
Walk to the bike, fingers crossed, say a prayer....
Ensure all the normal leaks are present....
Look for tranny seal oil spot on the ground to ensure it has fluid.
Turn on the choke.
Kick the bike over a few times with the switch off to get it primed.
Spin it through until you get compression.
Turn the switch on.
Kick until you have to wipe the snot from your face.
Take a break to catch your breath, count the number of people who gathered around, try to look like this is standard procedure.
Realize you are now in middle of the street, roll the bike back onto driveway, that explains the horns blowing.
Try to act as if you don't notice the crowd snickering.
Think, must be flooded.
Turn off the choke.
Hold the throttle wide open.
Kick..kick...kick...
Notice new paint spots on the tank and realize your nose is bleeding.
Wipe the tear/snot/sweat/nose bleed combo from your face.
Cuss.
Kick some more.
Cuss.
Ignore the old man who says......you know, back in the day.......
Kick until you hear horns blowing again.
Cuss.
Don't even wipe, just swallow the combo.
Check the points.
Turn on the choke.
Hold the throttle WFO, kick until the neighbors wife says.......you don't look so good.
Wipe/swallow/cuss
Check the plugs.
Turn off the choke.
Notice you never turned the fuel on.
Cuss.
Turn fuel on.
Turn choke on.
Prime engine.
Threaten motorcycle.
KICK !!
Pick youself up from the ground in front of motorcycle.
Put out the fire in the air cleaner.
Remember to retard the timing this go-around.
Turn on the ignition.
Kick.
Engine starts.......dies.
swallow.
Kick.....success
Check gas in tank, realize there is only about a 1/2 a gallon, meaning you will have to go through this again in about 15 minutes.
straddle bike, look both ways for traffic, realize you are in the middle of the street again.
Ride away thinking........ screw those electric start pooftah's......I'm the real deal!!!
